Sister Dearest

A co-worker was looking at a picture I had on my desk of my sister the other day, trying to determine if there was any resemblance. When we were younger, everyone knew we were sisters. The dark hair and dark eyes combined with the rugrat look we so proudly displayed gave it away.

I'll be the first one to admit though, I was a horrible big sister. Let me count thee ways!

We used to help clean houses when we were little for spending money. One time at the next door neighbour's while cleaning one day, I talked her into getting into the dryer. God only knows how I charmed her into that, but it worked, so I turned the dryer on. She did a couple of rotations with some very loud thumping before I opened the door. She was nicely air-fluffed with only a minor cut on her toe.

Another time dad left us in the car alone for perhaps too long of an extended period. I, being a little ADD'ish was getting bored, so I thought it would be fun to throw the gum I was chewing into my sister's hair. Keep in mind, she had long beautiful hair that was my mother's pride and joy. After this, not so much. Every trick in the book didn't get the wad of gum out of her locks. Only the scissors and a good hair cut solved that beauty. My mother loathed me.

What else? There was this girl named Denise Gould who kept breaking every bone in her body. A tragedy really, but she always got a lot of attention out of it. My sister decided she also needed attention, so I told her if she broke a bone, maybe it would help. So she went and got a hammer and took it to her leg to try and break it! Unfortunately she turned out to be quite hardy, and could only muster up some pretty nasty bruises.

I believe it was around that age that she also started getting a little hair on the legs. So I told her she should start shaving her legs. Well she was maybe a little young for that, but she, again, listened to me and went for it. Of course, once you shave that first time, it only comes back thicker and faster. Let's just say, her puberty was perhaps brought on a little sooner than she would have liked, in part, thanks to me.

I was evil, what can I say? I'm grateful I didn't grow up to be a horrible person and she still speaks to me. But after reading this, how can you not think my sister was THE MOST gullible person in the world lol??

Tia