I wanted to leave you with something before Christmas. I was trying to pick something to write light heartedly about with it being the holidays. Truth be told though, I'm uber-bummed out right now with the whole situation of being unemployed and being as such right at Christmas time. I wouldn't wish this emotional roller-coaster on my worst enemy.
Instead of being a Debbie Downer though, I thought I'd instead put on my Erma Bombeck hat and just spew random thoughts going through my mind right now. So here we go...
In an effort to conserve water and thus conserve money right now, I've been showering every second day instead of my much preferred every day shower. I always hear friends talk about not showering every day to let their body produce it's natural oils, etc. My hair is so greasy that if I were put in a police line-up, I'd probably get mistaken for Ted Williams right now.
Last week I had a craving for fig newton cookies. Yes, it's one of my guilty pleasures, shut up. I ate the whole package in a day. Now I have many beautiful pimples. Worse thing is, I know sugar makes me break out and I shouldn't eat it, but as women we're compelled to do these kinds of things aren't we? If the aliens come, I have some hard-to-miss beacons to guide them now I guess.
Capone has been enjoying the nice weather and wants to go outside a lot. The other day I came home to find him hiding under the front bush with a big bird in his mouth. 11 years old, well fed and he still has to hunt birds! Last night he was on the couch beside me and he farted. It smelled like raw bird. That is all.
Finally today I got my pension papers and can put closer on this gong show of a year. When I think of this past year, I think of the X-Files, playdough, and trees. You may or may not get this, but I'm laughing my ass off right now.
I'm also laughing about the fact that I've been wearing granny undies all week! I gave up on them at one point because who wants panty lines right?! But panty lines are the least of my worries right now, so bring on my Bridgette Jones persona. I'm comfortable, that's all that matters. And if perchance I get hit by a bus and wind up in the hospital, please lord, let me have a hot male nurse who finds the humour in my grannies k? PS - please also let him know that morphine makes me sick. Thank you.
On that note, I hope you and yours and the mistress or lover you may have on the side have a great holiday season. Kidding! Gosh, how come no one uses that line in a radio commercial some time, that'd be funny! But seriously, may you have many Gipp Forster moments filled with sugar canes, laughing babies, Christmas miracles and memories.
Merry Christmas my friends.
Tia
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
I Get it Now
My sister and I are 3 years apart in age, and when we were little, we looked a lot alike. In fact, I've heard people say we looked like twins, just not identical. Because we looked so much alike, one of my biggest pet peeves when were were kids is that we'd always get the same gift at Christmas, just in a different colour. If I got green mitts, my sister got the same ones, only in red. If I got a brown comforter, my sister got the very same one, only in blue. If I got undies, she'd get the exact same ones, only in pink. That's pretty much how our entire childhood was.
After a week and a bit of babysitting, I understand now why that was the case. The psychology of it seems to be if one kid gets something different than the other and that "other" thing looks like more fun or can be used as a trigger, then there will be many fights, crying and pouting. But if they both have the same thing, well where's the fun and manipulation in that for a kid?!?! Then they simply behave and play with their toy or item.
It all makes perfect sense now.
Tia
After a week and a bit of babysitting, I understand now why that was the case. The psychology of it seems to be if one kid gets something different than the other and that "other" thing looks like more fun or can be used as a trigger, then there will be many fights, crying and pouting. But if they both have the same thing, well where's the fun and manipulation in that for a kid?!?! Then they simply behave and play with their toy or item.
It all makes perfect sense now.
Tia
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Adventures in Babysitting
My friend Barb was having some babysitter woes and I'm unemployed and having some financial woes. She was in a lurch for having someone take care of her kids and I had much free time on my hands, so I offered to help.
Kids and babysitting aren't my speciality but it's certainly been an eye opener. My day starts at about 7:30am and I'm with them until about 5pm. I'm on my 3rd day and without a word of a lie, I get home at night utterly exhausted. It might also be because I'm getting up at 6am as opposed to the usual "unemployed wake-up call" at 10:30am that I've been accustomed to the last 3 weeks.
I've learned a few things during my quality time with the two kiddios. For one - always give yourself a buffer of being 10 minutes early. Because chances are, those 10 minutes will be lost to doddling, pouting or playing. For two - find your own unique "the look" and use it often. It's quite effective in mediation disputes over toys. And for three - if you play the Gummi Bear song once, be prepared you'll have to play it 10 more times back to back to back!
I also experienced my first ever play group. The kids running around the gym burning off all their energy while the moms sit around these 2 ft high tables drinking coffee, gossiping, knitting, and talking about things like "So are you going to get scraped". I was not prepared to hear about someone else's insides.
Another challenge is that I have major gag reflex. If I smell something like vomit or poop, I start dry heaving and walking the line of throwing up myself. I'm practising the best counter measures I can, but it's not easy explaining to a 3 year old why you have to so aggressively cover your nose and mouth.
I can certainly say I have a whole new appreciation for anyone with babies or young children. It's tough work! I still wonder though, does a spoonful of sugar really help the medicine go down? You may or may not get that.
Tia
Kids and babysitting aren't my speciality but it's certainly been an eye opener. My day starts at about 7:30am and I'm with them until about 5pm. I'm on my 3rd day and without a word of a lie, I get home at night utterly exhausted. It might also be because I'm getting up at 6am as opposed to the usual "unemployed wake-up call" at 10:30am that I've been accustomed to the last 3 weeks.
I've learned a few things during my quality time with the two kiddios. For one - always give yourself a buffer of being 10 minutes early. Because chances are, those 10 minutes will be lost to doddling, pouting or playing. For two - find your own unique "the look" and use it often. It's quite effective in mediation disputes over toys. And for three - if you play the Gummi Bear song once, be prepared you'll have to play it 10 more times back to back to back!
I also experienced my first ever play group. The kids running around the gym burning off all their energy while the moms sit around these 2 ft high tables drinking coffee, gossiping, knitting, and talking about things like "So are you going to get scraped". I was not prepared to hear about someone else's insides.
Another challenge is that I have major gag reflex. If I smell something like vomit or poop, I start dry heaving and walking the line of throwing up myself. I'm practising the best counter measures I can, but it's not easy explaining to a 3 year old why you have to so aggressively cover your nose and mouth.
I can certainly say I have a whole new appreciation for anyone with babies or young children. It's tough work! I still wonder though, does a spoonful of sugar really help the medicine go down? You may or may not get that.
Tia
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