Random Thoughts of Nothing

I wanted to leave you with something before Christmas. I was trying to pick something to write light heartedly about with it being the holidays. Truth be told though, I'm uber-bummed out right now with the whole situation of being unemployed and being as such right at Christmas time. I wouldn't wish this emotional roller-coaster on my worst enemy.

Instead of being a Debbie Downer though, I thought I'd instead put on my Erma Bombeck hat and just spew random thoughts going through my mind right now. So here we go...

In an effort to conserve water and thus conserve money right now, I've been showering every second day instead of my much preferred every day shower. I always hear friends talk about not showering every day to let their body produce it's natural oils, etc. My hair is so greasy that if I were put in a police line-up, I'd probably get mistaken for Ted Williams right now.

Last week I had a craving for fig newton cookies. Yes, it's one of my guilty pleasures, shut up. I ate the whole package in a day. Now I have many beautiful pimples. Worse thing is, I know sugar makes me break out and I shouldn't eat it, but as women we're compelled to do these kinds of things aren't we? If the aliens come, I have some hard-to-miss beacons to guide them now I guess.

Capone has been enjoying the nice weather and wants to go outside a lot. The other day I came home to find him hiding under the front bush with a big bird in his mouth. 11 years old, well fed and he still has to hunt birds! Last night he was on the couch beside me and he farted. It smelled like raw bird. That is all.

Finally today I got my pension papers and can put closer on this gong show of a year. When I think of this past year, I think of the X-Files, playdough, and trees. You may or may not get this, but I'm laughing my ass off right now.

I'm also laughing about the fact that I've been wearing granny undies all week! I gave up on them at one point because who wants panty lines right?! But panty lines are the least of my worries right now, so bring on my Bridgette Jones persona. I'm comfortable, that's all that matters. And if perchance I get hit by a bus and wind up in the hospital, please lord, let me have a hot male nurse who finds the humour in my grannies k? PS - please also let him know that morphine makes me sick. Thank you.

On that note, I hope you and yours and the mistress or lover you may have on the side have a great holiday season. Kidding! Gosh, how come no one uses that line in a radio commercial some time, that'd be funny! But seriously, may you have many Gipp Forster moments filled with sugar canes, laughing babies, Christmas miracles and memories.

Merry Christmas my friends.
Tia